


How To Love

by thatonekid



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 15:43:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonekid/pseuds/thatonekid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I go to live with my Aunt Jennifer after I can't take being at home anymore. I have a five year old daughter so this shall be interesting. Summary sucks cause I suck at them. Logan&OC</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Love

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first ever post on here!! Please be nice! This is my original piece and you can also find it on the fanfiction.net under dana2184

A/N I had this idea listening to How to Love by Lil Wayne. I love his music.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I only own Cali and Beni Bieber.

A little info about the OC. My name is Cali Rae Bieber. I'm 17 years old and I now live in the state of California with my 5 year old daughter Beni Lynn Bieber and my aunt with her two kids. I have long curly auburn hair and hazel (brown and green) eyes my hair goes down to the back of my knee caps.

How it started

I sat there looking at my daughter Beni sleeping so peacefully. I'm glad that she's a heavy sleeper because this isn't what a five year old should be hearing. My parents were in the other room yelling at each other. They always yelled they yelled about bills, money, my dad cheating on my mom, my mom cheating on my dad and me having a child. I've been throw it all and I've heard it all. And because of my parents I'm afraid to love and I don't know how to let anyone in. during the school years I stayed to myself and in the summer I worked two jobs and beni was at a babysitters since I couldn't watch her. My aunt has talked me into moving in with her and her kids. I've never met Katie and Kendall just heard about them.

I lay back down and tried to go to sleep but I just couldn't do it. There was too much yelling and threatening. No one knows my life story and I tend to keep it that way. I have no intentions in letting anyone in and no one had tried. My teachers and principle didn't care that I had no friends, and I was only in school for three hours because of the fact that I work two jobs. I make sure that Beni is taken care of and she had what she needs and then I worried about me. I had gotten a car from my boss because he knew that I needed one to commute back and forth and get Beni out of the house. My first boss is also my uncle.

He knew what was going on and I made sure that he didn't tell anyone in exchange he bought me a car, phone and an ipod. Those were the only things that I have never paid for myself and he wouldn't let me. I told him how on Saturday that my daughter and I will be moving to the state of California and that I had to quit. It wasn't like me to quit anything I had to keep going and be a role model to Beni.

Surprisely he understood and let me quit. My second boss who is also my uncle's wife understood everything and she had more sympathy then anything. I hated sympathy and I hated how people wanted or felt the need to help Beni and I. I'm not a charity case and I don't need people doing anything for me. Beni loved the attention but she knew that she couldn't accept anything. She had one friend who also happens to be our cousin.

We were all packed and my parents knew that we were leaving but I recorded it just to make sure I had proof in them saying that it was alright for Aunt Jennifer taking me and my daughter in. I never let the recorder out of my sight because I didn't want it to be lost or broken. I needed proof because I'm sure that when time sinks in (which is unlikely) and they realize that we are gone they will report us as kidnapped or missing.

I've been through enough mental, verbal, emotional and some physical abuse from my dad that I had given in to my aunt let her buy the plane tickets and head out there tomorrow.

At the airport the next day

I had wakened Beni up and got her dressed and we left with my gym bag and her suit case and her carry on. She was only 5 and a 3 hour flight was going to put her to boredom and sleep. We took the early flight at 5 am so I had to wake her up at three. My parents were now sleeping in their bed and I picked up Beni and carried her. I had put her carryon bag on her shoulders and I could carry her with one arm and drag the suitcase as I put the gym bag on my arm. I walked out of the house with her still sleeping on my neck and got into my Uncle Joe's car. My aunt Lisa was there to. They said that they will drive my car to aunt Jennifers after a week of being there. Lisa had gotten out and put everything in the trunk and got back into the car. My parents worked at 5 am so they never check on us, they won't notice the car is gone when they get home at 8 tonight from working.

We made it to the airport with an hour to spare. They were nice enough to let my aunt and uncle through security and waited until we bored the plane. I knew that I was going to need help with Beni because she hasn't flown before and she is a grump when she wakes up. I had fed her and myself and we were now waiting for the plane. We said our goodbyes and they left and the lady at the desk to board people let us go on first so it was easier. Beni and I were in the front row, I sat by the window and Beni sat in the middle. And a nice lady who seemed to be in her thirties sat next to Beni.

When we had gotten into the air and were settle I asked the lady to keep on an eye on her so I could use the restroom she agreed and the flight attendant helped watched her so the lady could fall asleep if she wanted to. Beni slept for another thirty minutes and I had grabbed her carry on so I could keep her quiet and entertained so she didn't disturb the other passengers. I had learned that the lady that was sitting with us is a mom herself and has four daughters all around Beni's age. She was coming back from visiting her parents.

After a while Beni was getting hungry and bored. The flight attendant gave her some food from the first class so she would be content for a while. Then we landed and the lady helped us to the baggage claim and offered to carry her there since Beni had fallen back asleep 20 minutes before we landed. I didn't want her to be someone else's problem but I let her after she assured me that she didn't mind and she was glad to help me out. After we had gotten pass the baggage claim area I saw a guy hold a sign that said Cali and Beni Bieber. I told the lady that this is us and she handed back Beni to me. I thanked her so much and she smiled and said "I'm glad to help"

The driver guy took us to our car and put our bags in it and I had to put Beni into a booster seat so she was somewhat safe. About an hour and half later we had pulled up to the palm woods and I got Beni out and grabbed my stuff thanked the guy and went in.

At aunt Jennifers.

I walked in with a gym bag on my shoulder and a suitcase in one hand. The other arm was holding Beni. She was still asleep and I knew that she would wake up soon to eat again. I heard four boys screaming and running. I'm really hoping that it didn't wake Beni up. Who am I kidding she could sleep through anything and yelling/screaming is nothing new so she wouldn't wake up. I walked to the front desk and asked what room Jennifer knight was in. and he told me which one it was I said thank you and he said have a palm woods day with a smile. I started to walk again but I had dropped the suitcase and the gym bag and the floor so I could put Beni in my other arm. She was still asleep so that's all that matter. I avoided the guys as much as I could. Everyone around me was looking at me like I was too young to have a child but she is.

I went to pick up the other stuff and that's when I felt a hand handing my stuff to me. I turned to see who it was but it didn't matter because I knew no one but my aunt and my daughter. I reached for the stuff and the guy wouldn't give it to me. I was getting annoyed. I needed to get Beni up to the room so she could eat and go potty.

"Here let me help you" the boy said

"No thanks I got it. I'm used to it" I said half cold hearted

"Please it would be my pleasure to help you get your stuff up to where you're going" he said

I just nodded because I knew Beni would be waking up due to the fact that her stomach was growling and she started to stir in her sleep. The boy seemed happy that I let him help me.

"Don't get use to this, I don't need help with anything I'm fine on my own" I said sourly

"What room are you" he asked

"Umm from what that guy Mr. Bitters said, room 2J" I stated

"Awesome that's my room. I'm logan by the way" Logan said

"Nice and I'm Cali and this here is my five year old Beni" I added

We went to the elevator and we didn't talk at all once we got to the second floor we had gotten out and he helped me into the apartment.

"Mama Knight there a new people here to see you" Logan called out

He put the stuff down and went down the hall to his room and came back with his phone. Jennifer had come out of where ever she was at and came into the living room. Once she saw me she saw that Beni had woken up and hid in my hair. My kid is shy at first and she starts to warm up to you and if you play her little games that she wants to play.

"Hi Cali and this must be little Beni" Jennifer greeted us

"Hi aunt jen and yes this is beni" I said

"Logan call the others and Katie and tell them to come up to the apartment" she said

He nodded his head and called the people that he needed to and he said "they will be up here in a couple of minutes"

"Beni sweetie I need to go to the bathroom do you want to come with me" I asked Beni

She just nodded her head and I made my way to the bathroom I had put her down and I went and then I washed my hands and then she had to go and when she was done I washed her hands.

"We need to go back out there, can you be a big girl and walk or do you need to hide again" I said/asked

"Up, up" she said putting her arms up for me to pick her up.

I picked her up and made our way back into the living room. She hid in my hair again, luckily my hair was down today otherwise she wouldn't be able to. I saw three guys next to Logan and a girl who looked like she was 12 sitting on the couch. Jennifer had seen us and so did Logan. Logan got off the couch and came to me and hugged me with one arm. Im sure he was just being friendly and nice but it was weird for a guy to do that to me. He pulled away and Jennifer said kids I want you to meet someone.

I thought in my head, isn't that what you say when your dating a new person or has a friend over for once. But I guess I could be overthinking it, I never had friends or a boyfriend for that matter. I snapped back into reality before they thought I was stupid or something.

"Kendall and Katie, meet your cousins Cali and beni. They are staying with us until they get their own place." Jennifer had said

"And that is Carlos with a helmet on and the one sitting next to him is James" Logan whispered

I just nodded. Katie came up to me and hugged me and she seemed to be happy to have girls around for a change. Kendall did the same thing after Katie backed up. I turned my head and whispered to Beni "can you get down so you can meet your cousins" she shook her head no.

"I don't mind holding her if you need me to" Logan offered

I just shook my head no and said "no thanks, I told you not to get use to helping me, I don't like it."

Logan just looked at me pleadingly and Beni said "wogie" I just sighed and headed her over. "Sorry she doesn't know how to say Logan or pronounce the letter L"

He just laughed and took Beni from me. I went to her suitcase and took out her blankie and some animal crackers. I walked back over to logan and reached for beni and she said "I wuv wogie" that made everyone giggle.

"Well you need to eat and I'm sure that Logan doesn't want to hand you the crackers or play your favorite animal game" I said

She sighed and reached for me and I grabbed her and sat on the ground with her in my lap. The others had left aunt jen said she had to run a few errands, the only person who stayed behind was Logan. I was playing Beni's favorite animal game and I noticed Logan smiling at me and her.

"You don't have to stay you know, she isn't your responsibility she's mine. You can just go have fun I'll still be here when you get back." I said

"No, no I'm fine and this doesn't bother me at all. But how old are you" he said/asked

"I'm 17 and she's five" I told him

"Shes not your sister is she" he asked

I didn't know what to say so I just shook my head and I was embarrassed and looked at Beni who was drinking from a juice box and chewing on her blankie.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is she then" he asked

I just sighed I knew this had to come out sooner or later "shes my daughter I had her when I was twelve years old after being raped" I said sadly and embarrassed

He had a sympathy look on his face. I got up and went to sit on the couch and let Beni play with the few toys that I had been able to bring with.

"It's cool if you want nothing to do with me or her. But please don't tell anyone and don't be sorry for what happened to me and how she is brought into the world" I said without looking at him

"Plus I'll be out of your guy's hair in no time. I'll be moving into a different apartment across town so no one has to put up me or my daughter" I added

"But I want you to stay" he said

"Why do you want me to stay? Don't you get it I have a five year old daughter and I've been raped and other things but that's a different story for another time" I said looking at him

Beni walked over and said "mama I gotta go potty"

I got off the couch and took her to the bathroom and walked back into the room 4 minutes later. She went back to playing with her toys and I went back to talking to Logan.

"Because you seem like a very cool/amazing person to be around and get to know" he said

"But you don't get it, I never had any friends. I didn't/don't have time for them, I have to work and put my daughter first before anyone else. Everything that I do is being watched by my daughter. And I don't want you to become friends with me out of sympathy because if you do then that just means that I shouldn't be here and I need to leave" I continued

"Mommy I hungry" Beni said

I got up and went into the kitchen and fixed her a sandwich and cut it into squares with a knife. I took her booster seat out and put it on a chair and put her plate on the table and called her to the table. I helped her in and she started to eat and I handed her a cup that had a lid on it plus a straw so she could drink something while eating. I walked back into the living room and sat down.

"See I have to do this all day every day. I'm used to it. I don't expect anyone else to be used to it or want to get used to it." I added

"Beni you drop that on the floor and you get put in time out" I said looking at the TV and then back at Logan

"How did you know she was going to drop that without even looking" he asked

"Being a mom means you have eyes in the back of your head. You see I can be in a deep conversation with you and being watching TV and beni could be nowhere in sight and I still know what she's doing"

"Mommy I'm done and I'm sweepy" Beni said

I got up and cleaned her up and washed the dish and picked her up and laid her down on the couch next to me. She looked at Logan and said "wogie and you sing me a song" before I could reject her request he got up and kneeled down and hummed her a lullaby and within 3 minutes she was asleep. Logan came back and sat down next to me.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that"

"I know but I wanted to"

"But seriously you should go have some fun, I'm a teenage mother and you need to have fun while it lasts, and don't take it for granted."

"How long is she going to be asleep"

"Hmm well since its 11:30 she'll sleep until 1:30 or until she wakes herself up"

"Does she know how swim"

"Yep, but I can't take her down to the pool with everyone staring at me, and then they're going to assume that you are the father or something. It's a not a pretty sight"

"Well from 12:30 until 5:30 everyone is gone either at auditions or at the mall, but they are gone so you won't have to worry"

We ate some lunch the guys came up for lunch and I was making chicken strips. They were quiet since they saw Beni sleeping on the couch. It's only been one day well actually a few hours since we came here. I told them that they don't have to be quiet just avoid the couch as much as possible. After I said that they were yelling at each other. James had taken Carlos chicken and wouldn't give it back. This annoyed me I mean they're like what 19 and they act like their 6 years of age. I expect this out of Beni and not grown men or what they say that they are grown men. More like a bunch of 6 years playing with their food. At like 12:45 Beni had woken herself up, which was a plus for me because I didn't have at 1:30.

Logan was sitting on the couch next to her and he had told me that she woke up. I just nodded my head and got a juice box ready. And then they got jealous because they didn't have one. I just rolled my eyes and went to Beni and gave her a small sip and then took her to the bathroom. After she was done we went back into the living room. The guys had left and Logan was the only one staying behind again.

"Beni do you want to go swimming" Logan asked

"Wogie go swim to" Beni asked

Logan nodded his head which was like the best news ever for Beni.

"You know Logan I think she has a crush on you" I said laughing

"Momma go swim to" she asked

"Yes sweetie I'll go swimming with you" I said

I took out her swim suit and Logan went in his room to change I had gotten her changed and Logan came out.

"Hey can you watch her for like two minutes" I asked him

"Sure"

I left to the bathroom and changed into a tank top and some shorts and came back in putting my hair up.

"Thanks for watching her"

"No worries I like it"

"Beni you need to walk, I can't keep carrying you" I told her

She grabbed my hand and we walked out of house.

"I race you" Beni said and took off running at the end of the hall giggling.

Logan ran after her laughing. That just amused me so much. I got to the elevator and I had notice that she was pointing at Logan and laughing at him.

"I beat you here" Beni yelled victoriously

"Yes you did baby cakes" Logan said laughing with her

We got in and rode down to the lobby. We got out and went to the pool. Beni was thrilled that there was a pool and she knew how to swim. She was tugging at Logan hand to have him follow her. I just laughed and put everything down well mainly the towels and a juice box. The other three guys came back into the pool area and sat/lounged on the chairs. Logan finally gave in to her and got in the pool and let her jump in after he told her he'd catch her.

I walked to the pool and sat on the edge and put my feet into the water and let her have fun.

"Wookie I can swim" Beni said and started to swim from the middle of the pool over to me.

"Good job beni" Logan cheered

James saw them laughing and having fun so he got off the chair and sat next to me.

"Looks like they are having fun" James said nudging my arm

"Yah I'm sure that they are" I said looking at him in the eyes and then dropped my eyes to the water

"Beni come say hi to james" I said

Logan was holding her and he walked over to us. She was so amaze that Logan could walk in water. When they got over to where we were sitting Beni was shy and hid her head in the crane of Logan neck. I just giggled and so did Logan.

"Beni looks over here" I said

She shook her head and said "no hes scary"

I just laughed at that and said to James "see you scare her you big bully"

"Beni I'm not scary see" James said hugging me

She turned her head and looked at James hugging me. She smiled and giggled.

"Do you want james to swim with you" I asked

"James swims now" she screeched.

"Beni in door voices" I warned her

She kept laughing and was splashing water on Logan and he was splashing back. James had gotten into the pool and was lifting her up and tossing her in the air and she would giggle and want more. I told him once you start on something with her you better want to do it for a long time. He said he didn't mind, he loved little kids and loved seeing them enjoy themselves. Carlos was getting pizza for all of us. And Kendall was at his girlfriend's house. It didn't bother me one bit. He'll come around sooner or later.

I got Beni out of the pool after I told her that there will be other days to come to the pool. I wrapped a towel around her and she was shivering. I picked her up and grabbed the juice box. Logan and James grabbed the other towels and we made our way to the elevator to go up.

"Mommy I'm cowd" she said shivering

That made James have a confused look on his face and Logan just shrugged. He took his towel and took the one that was wrapped her off of her and then wrapped his around her. She kept shivering and I felt bad. Logan seemed warm so I turned to him we got off the elevator and asked him if he wanted to carry her you know since your warm and all. He agreed and took her from my arms. Once she was in his arms she stopped shivering.

We walked into the house and the pizza was there and not touched. Kendall told Carlos that he wasn't gonna eat the pizza so dig in. I took Beni's suitcase and took out pajamas since it was 6 o'clock I took her to the bathroom and changed her and then had her go potty and then we went back into the living.

"Mommy can I have some pizza" she asked

I just nodded my head and Logan handed me the plate with two slices on it. The other two guys were confused as to why my 'sister' would call me mommy. Logan was okay with it because he knew why and he knew that she wasn't my 'sister' and that she was my own fleshing blood daughter. As soon as Kendall came home he had told us that Katie was staying at a friend's house. I guess it seemed to surprise them but I just rolled my eyes.

"Momma I thirsty" Beni said walking over to me

I give her the juice that was in the straw and told her to put it on the coffee table and she did as she was told. Everyone but Logan was surprised once again. Logan nudged me and gave me the look 'you should tell them' and I just nodded

"Why does she keep calling you mommy" James asked

"Yah I thought she was your sister" Carlos complained

"Look only Logan and Aunt Jennifer know this but here it goes I guess." I started

Beni was playing with Logan phone and pretending that she was talking to someone.

"Beni lynn Bieber is my daughter. I had her when I was twelve years old after I was raped on my 12th birthday by someone who shall remain nameless. But like I told Logan its cool if you want nothing to do with me and her, but don't feel sorry for me. It's not worth it and simply because I hate when people feel sorry for me. I like that my daughter is here and healthy for the most part and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. But what I also told Logan that I'll be out of your guy's hair within one to two weeks. So you will never have to see me or her again" I finished

After I was done they seemed to have a more understanding as to why she calls me mom/mommy/mama. Beni walked over with Logan phone and told him it for you. Logan took it and started to talk to it and he said "oh no beni they want you back can you talk" she shook her head no and giggled. She then said the cutest thing ever "you and mommy shouwd date" she said running down the hallway.

I turned to Logan and said "sorry she doesn't know what shes talking about"

He was about to say something the look in eyes said yes we should but he didn't say anything he just simply nodded his head.

"Beni gets your little butt back in here right now" I hollered down the hall

She was giggling and running back in with nothing in her hands.

"Beni comes here" I sternly said

She came over to me "yes mommy" she said innocently

"Where's logans phone" I asked

"Phone went bye – bye" she giggled

"Did you throw it down the toilet" I asked

"yes and flushed it" she replied

I took my phone out and called my uncle and asked him to mail me another phone as to I no longer have mine after this. He agreed and said he'll bring up on Monday with my car. I got off the phone with my uncle and looked at logan apologetically.

I then erased all the stuff that I had in my phone. I had sent all my pictures to my aunt so she can send them back to me when they brought me the new phone. I then handed my phone over to logan.

"here, take mine and here's the charger for it. I'm terribly sorry for when beni did, this isn't like her. I'll have a new one on Monday and I'll be gone and into a new apartment across town by Wednesday" I said handing my phone to logan.

He took it since I shoved it at him and gave him a serious look that said 'I don't want it back so keep it'

"a girl giving up her phone" kendall said shocked

"well where I'm from everyone had to work for their own stuff. If you wanted it you worked for it otherwise you obviously you don't need it that badly if you don't. and NOTHING gets handed to you. If you got the cell phone or anything new you were the cool person for a while." I said shrugging it off

It was around 9:30 and I had decided to get Beni ready for bed. Her bedtime back home was 9:30 and I was keeping it that way. I had her go potty and when we came back from the bathroom the other guys were nowhere to be found. I just shrugged it off and laid Beni on the couch, it was a lot comfier then the floor so it looked. Around 9:45 she had fallen asleep after I sung her, her two favorite songs. I stood up and went to my bag and got out boxers and a long sleeve shirt. I went to the bathroom and changed and as I was going back to the living room I felt arms wrap around my waist.

I turn around to see who it was and it was Logan.

"Wanna sleep in my bed" he asked and then winked

We started kissing in the hallway. At first it was slow and cute, and then it started getting heated. I pulled away for air and I looked at him.

"I-I-I don't know if I should." I stuttered

We started kissing again and I smiled into it. I loved how he was making the moves. I've wanted to kiss him since we met. Wrong right? But I wanted this more then I needed it. It wasn't a must but it was a want. I could live without doing this with him. But still.

He pulled me into his room and shut the door and then locked it. He pushed me on his bed and got on top of me.

"I'm really loud, what if they wake up" I asked

"Don't worry they are all heavy sleepers" he said

He leaned down and started kissing me. I was kissing him back. He traced around my bottom lip with his tongue and I opened my mouth to let him in. he was starting to get aggressive. I really didn't think he was this kind of guy who took control. But then again looks are deceiving.

Logan sat me up far enough for him to take of my sweatshirt and then he laid me back down after I took his shirt off of him. I could tell that this was going to be a really good night. I haven't had sex since Beni turned four years of age. So I was going to hurt after this I could already tell. Soon Logan unsnapped my bra and took it off and that's when I unbutton his pants and slid them off.

He moved from my mouth to my neck. He was sucking on it and bit it. I let out a moan because it felt good. I could feel him smile against my neck. He was fondling with my breast. "You have really big boobs" Logan said and kept going. He made his way to each of my breasts and started sucking on it and biting it. I moaned really loud (well it was loud to me) he was smiling. He came back up and started kissing me again and he went down to my hips and took of my underwear with his teeth. And that was pretty impressive. I then took of his boxers and let him continue. He started to rub my clit after that he started to finger me. He used two fingers at once and started off slowly but started to go faster. I had to arch my back when he was doing this. Then he got on top of me and pushed his manhood in me.

"You're not using a condom are you" I asked

"Nope" he said

I just let it be. I know its irresponsible and that I already have a five year old but I wasn't going to stop it. He was in control and I loved it. What can I say that I like being controlled in bed? As he went faster and rougher my moaning out louder and louder my climax was coming soon and I could by the way that my eyes had rolled back into my head and I was panting and shaking. He's really good.

"LOGAN" I yelled out

He was smiling because he knew that he was doing it right and that this is what we both wanted. The bed was squeaking and moving as he was going at it. Oh shit was all I could think.

"I'm about to cum" I said

"Let it all out, I really don't mind" Logan said

I knew he was about to so we both came at the same time. Even though I couldn't take it anymore he decided to eat me out after he got off of me. And let me tell you it felt really good.

When he was done he laid down beside me. And we looked at each other and kissed.

"Wow that was amazing" I said

"Yes it was, even though it was my first time" he said

"Well you did an outstanding job your first time" I said

We scooted closer together and kissed and we were both holding each other and then we fell asleep.

THE END

A/N so what did you think? Was it good? Please review it makes my day

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for giving it a chance! Please tell me what you think if that is allowed! :)


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